Posts Tagged ‘Arranged Marriage’

I hate dating. Out of all the social norms, dating is the one I would sacrifice to the Gods if I lived on a remote island and we needed a social sacrifice to throw into the angry volcano.

I take that back. I’d get rid of hand shaking and high fives first. And then dating would have to go.

Dating is awkward for me. When I get nervous, I babble, and when there is any sort of silence between me and the only other person I’m with, I get nervous. This comes from my dad, who tried to drill the art of small talk into me, but instead taught me how to waste my breath. Now, if I’m at dinner with someone I like (which is rare), I scare them off by telling them about my dead dog, crazy uncle, or sleeping habits.

I’m not too worried about babbling, though, because like I said, that only happens around someone I like. I’m a practiced misanthrope, so finding someone who doesn’t drive me up the drapes is indeed rare. I’m more worried about actually going on dates. I would rather be home alone, eating my way through a box of Cheez-its and watching a crappy made-for-TV movie than out at an expensive restaurant with another guy who only asked me out because I have long eyelashes and good hair. Everytime I get asked on a date, I cringe inside. I quickly go through excuses in my head, and usually just resort to saying “maybe” and never answering my phone when they call. Don’t bother telling me I’m a terrible person. I’m already aware of that.

Maybe someday they’ll bring back the practice of arranged marriage, and I won’t have to bother with weeding through the pick-up lines to find the honest guy.

Here’s an adorable quote from My Best Friend’s Wedding: “Kimmy says if you love someone you say it, you say it right then, out loud. Otherwise the moment just… passes you by.”

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