Posts Tagged ‘halloween’

Fortunately, it’s fall. Unfortunately, it’s 70 degrees outside.
I mean, seriously. 70 degrees? In October? I remember several Halloweens past, when it snowed. I minded then, because I was trick-or-treating in a mermaid costume, but now that I’m too old for such fun, I demand some COLD!

Fortunately, it’s Halloween on Friday. Unfortunately, I have to work.
“We will be closing at 9:00 on Friday in observance of Halloween,” says the sign on the door of my work. I think it’s hilarious. What I don’t think is hilarious, is that I have to run the cash register instead of going out on my favorite holiday. But I’ll be okay, because…

Fortunately, I have the best costume ever. Unfortunately, the Nazis that employ me say no cross-dressing.
For Halloween this year, I’ve chosen to dress as the second leading killer in the United States. No, not cancer. CHUCK NORRIS. I’ve got the beard, I’ve got the denim jumpsuit, I’ve got the gun holsters. But then, my manager tells me that there’s not cross-dressing. Well I’m going to do it, and if I get in trouble, I’ll just say I’m a bearded lady. They can’t get mad at me for that.

Fortunately, I know some fantastic Chuck Norris jokes. Unfortunately, there is no unfortunately to that fortunately.

Lucille Ball
Lucille Ball

In my opinion, this was my best costume ever. Lucille Ball. Used it two years in a row. (I was going to be Jessica Rabbit, but the costume was a bit skanky and I was going to a pretty kosher party, so I pulled the only thing I had in my closet—Lucy.)

(I’m always a famous redhead for Halloween. This year, it was between Miss Frizzle, Winifred Sanderson, and Lizzy Borden. Then someone suggested Chuck Norris and I was done for. He may not really be a redhead, but I don’t care.)

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