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Posts Tagged ‘twilight sucks’

It’s been almost a year since I wrote on this blog.

I’ve been hanging out over at Blogger, which is a lot easier (for me) to use. But I feel drawn back here, to my first blog. WordPress was always good to me. And I’ve lost all motivation with my Blogger blog.

Things that have happened since I last posted:

Went and got myself hitched. (Technically, that happened BEFORE my last post, but I didn’t mention it.)
Got a good job. (Also, before my last post.)
Traveled a bit.
Got baby hungry.
Quit the good job. (long story for another day)
Lost the baby hunger.
Got a sporadic part-time job.
Wished I was still a waitress. (I know, I know.)

… and that’s pretty much it. Nothing too exciting. Nothing worth putting into detail.

And since most of the viewers of this blog come from people Googling “I Hate Twilight,” here’s my hate on Twilight for the day:

Twilight (the movie) was pretty awful. Thought that New Moon might be better, which it was, but still awful. Its only redeeming quality was how lovable Jacob was. (But, if you’ve been reading this blog, you know that Jacob is the only character in the books I like, so I may be a bit biased.) The hubby and I saw both of these movies in the local dollar theater, which was jam-packed with college-aged girls–who glared at us intensely because we laughed the whole movie–and the occasional boyfriendsforced to see the movie–who glared as us enviously because they knew their girlfriends would never forgive them for laughing.

Also, someone needs to give Kristen Stewart a big ol’ hug, because she looks depressed in every picture.

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(For those of you who haven’t yelled at me already for this, here are a few more Twilight rant posts for your enjoyment.

https://germonderpop.wordpress.com/2008/06/12/why-i-hate-twilight-the-sequel/
https://germonderpop.wordpress.com/2008/03/24/i-dont-get-it/)

While reading Twilight for the first time about two years ago, the thought crossed my mind that this book would be better as a movie. The writing, I thought, was terrible. The character development, shabby. The relationship between the two main characters, shallow and downright creepy. But the concept wasn’t that bad. Get some good actors and a real plot, and you’ve got yourself a blockbuster.

Tonight, I sat through all two hours of the Twilight movie, painfully aware of how well it followed the book. I expected there to be at least some more character development–or at least better portrayal of the characters–but I was disappointed.

First of all, a note to the makeup people: That shade of lipstick on Edward was no bueno. I know you were trying to make him look more pale by making his lips darker, but the obviousness of the lipstick + the poor eyeliner job = a very feminine Robert Pattinson.

The acting was bad. There’s no other way to say it. I don’t know if it was the actors or the director, but Edward constantly looked angry/constipated, Bella always looked dumbfounded/lost, and everyone else was too peppy to be real. The scene choices, while at first glance appear to be nice and dramatic, just added to the bad acting. The scene in the forest? “You’re impossibly fast”? “Say it. Out loud.”? Ring any bells? I was snorting with laughter at this point.

The choice in music was side-splitting. It sounded like it was straight out of a Spanish soap opera–not to insult Spanish soap operas. Any time a moment was a potentially good piece of film, it was like a cue for the dramatized electric guitar to take any thoughts of tortured lovers and replace them with thoughts of David Bowie, and how incredible he looked in Labryinth. (I kid you not. More than once, when the guitar struck up its sappy music, images of David Bowie in tights were drawn to my mind.)

The adaptation from book to screenplay was actually spot-on, which was the disappointing part. It magnified how stalker-esque Edward, and how ridiculous their relationship, is. Honestly, after speaking to each other about the mysteries of the Cullens for a combined total of a few hours, she’s irrevocably in love with him, and he brings her home to meet the fam. And watches her sleep.

The only characters I even remotely liked were Alice and Carlisle. I would have loved Alice, but everything she said hinted at her ability to see the future. “We’re going to be great friends.” “It’s okay, Jasper, you won’t hurt her.” Even her saying “I’ll see you soon” seemed to be flaunting her special talent. As for Carlisle, the only reason I liked him is because I couldn’t stop looking at him.

Do I regret seeing it? Not at all. I haven’t laughed that hard since the final scenes of Australia. Would I see it again? Not unless forced.

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Some of you may have read my previous post, in which I verbalized my distaste for Twilight. A lot of people wrote me angry responses, telling me (and basically everyone else who agrees with me) that I’m an idiot for not liking the book, and that I have no right to dislike Stephanie Meyer, etc. etc. etc.

This just strengthens my hatred.

I, of course, deleted these comments, as staring at them too long made me want to do something violent.

I have every right to hate whatever book and whatever author I want to. I’m not finding your blogs on Twilight and telling you you’re stupid. In the aforementioned post, I just said I hate when people think less of me for disliking the books, and that’s exactly what you’re doing. If you calmly and respectfully laid out your points on why you like the books (and Edward being FrEaKiNg HaWt doesn’t count), and stopped whining about how I’m close-minded, blah blah blah (which is funny, because you not being able to accept that I dislike something is being close-minded), I would be okay with that.

I like friendly debates. I think I’ve found one person who I can discuss Twilight with, because she doesn’t get upset that I hate it, and I don’t try and convince her to join me in my hatred.

Note: this is not a rant on why I hate Twilight AGAIN, because I honestly don’t care that much. This is a rant on why I hate people.

that is all.

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(Note: this blog is NOT a place for arguing. If anyone starts harrassing me over this, I will delete your comment immediately. This is just me stating an opinion. If you have something intelligent to say, say it, but you’re not going to change my mind.)

¬†Why is the book Twilight so popular? Rhetorical question, don’t answer it. I’ve read all three books, and I don’t understand what’s so great about them. But that’s not really what’s bothering me. What’s bothering me is that people get mad at me for not liking them! They think I’m just trying to be different (which infuriates me more, because people who do that drive me bananas), or something. In any case, it lowers people’s opinion of me.

Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Shouldn’t I be judging them for being so easily swayed by a pop culture book?

Anyway.

The book is poorly written. No, it is not descriptive. It says Edward is “perfect,” and I think it might’ve mentioned at one point that his hair is red. Also, the characters are so so so so SO SO flat. They’re not ever developed, which makes the lack of plot all the more painful. They’re not likeable, either. I hate Bella and Edward. Bella is whiney, useless, lazy, and a cookie cut-out girl. I really don’t see anything remarkable about her. Edward is possessive, borderline abusive, and boring. His only redeeming quality is that he plays the piano.

The only character I like is Jacob, because he’s real. He’s likeable, he’s charismatic, and he falls in love with Bella because they’re such great friends, not because her blood smells good or because he’s intrigued by the fact that he can’t read her mind.

I was going to list more reasons why it’s an insult to JK Rowling to compare Twilight with Harry Potter, but I’ve already wasted enough blog space.

(And yes, I’m expecting y’all to give me hell for this blog, but that’s your choice.)

NOTE: if you’ve read this and disagree, or whatever, go to this link. And leave me alone.

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