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Posts Tagged ‘using’

Ick.

I feel used.

I’ve never been the sort of person people take advantage of, or someone who is easy to treat badly. Why? Well if you rewind about 7 hours, you’ll see me chewing out my coworker for doing part of our job that is my duty. I told him I was going to jump him after work and rip out his jugular. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why you don’t mess with the Red Fury.

Well today, I found out that I have been being treated badly for the past two and a half months, and I had no idea. Someone used me. Someone lied to me and manipulated me, and I fell for it. The worst I’ve had to endure from my fellow human beings is the cold shoulder, but this—this is unbearable. It felt like my insides were caving in, like someone was freeze drying my entire nervous system. Not a pleasant feeling.

I left work an hour early and drove to my best friend’s house. I fell apart on her bed while she yelled at that Someone over the phone, crying herself, and using threats you wouldn’t expect from such a small person. I was so very glad that I had her for a friend at that moment. I had never really relied on her before, but I don’t know what I would have done if she hadn’t been there when the bad news hit.

She took me to get Ben & Jerry’s, pizza, Big Fish, and my favorite snack of wheat thins and marshmallow fluff. I felt like a normal human being. I have never really been broken up with, and although this wasn’t a breakup, the way I was being treated felt like it, and I felt like I joined the ranks of so many women before me who have been mistreated.

There really isn’t any reason to write this. I just don’t want to be alone right now.

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